Year+9+-+Response+to+Text+Feedback+notes

This is a page where you will be able to access any generic feedback I think you can all benefit from. Read the information through and consider how you could apply it to the responses you have written and the comments I may have written on your work.

Feedback on your __Trash__ response to text essays -
__Paragraphing - __ You need to write in paragraphs in your responses. This is key to your essay having logically progressing and well developed ideas. Each new idea you have about the topic needs to written in a new paragraph. Make sure that you are writing a topic sentence at the beginning of each one that tells the reader what idea you will be explaining in this section. Topic sentences are really handy for you for another reason. They will keep you on the right track and focused on what you should be discussing. Some of you who have jumbled ideas may find that you are straying from what it is that you should be discussing.

So here is an example -

If I am writing an essay about why studying for exams early is important, then one of my paragraphs may be about how studying early alleviates stress the closer the exam gets. So here goes....

Beginning to study for exam early, rather than cramming at the last minute, alleviates the stress that a study cramming may bring. (TOPIC SENTENCE) . When a person crams for an exam, the pressure of attemping to cover all that is needed and then remember it can send that person into a stress induced tailspin. It is very important that this not be the case before entering an exam so beginning a study programme earlier on in the piece is so important. (EXPLANATION) . Beginning early means you are being organised and prepared to study and this leads on to you being able to spend time on the aspects of the subject that are important. For example, if it is English you are stuyding for, studying earlier rather than later will enable you to practice the skill of response to text writing which is not a skill that can necessarily be studied for but rather needs to be practiced. (EXPANSION AND EXAMPLE).

__Expansion of ideas - __ Many of you are making wonderful statements about characters, themes and important events, but stop there. So for example, you are saying

"Rat played a vital part in the recovering of the money because of his street wise"

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Georgia,serif;">but you stop there. It is at this point that I want to grab you by the shoulders and shake the rest out of you. Now I want to know what you mean by his being streetwise, and then how this helped them along the way. So here's what you need to do...

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Georgia,serif;">"Rat played a vital part in the recovering of the money because of his streetwise. He had spent all his life fending for himself and eeking out a survival in the Behala Dumpsite, on the streets and in the train stations. He had mixed with alsorts of people, dealt with all types of situations and had learnt how to be cautious in his dealings with others. This last skill in particular was of huge benefit to the three when there was a need for them to approach others in order to further their cause."

<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Georgia,serif;">This is how to expand on an idea. The is no detail or evidence yet accompanying this. It is merely to show you how to EXPAND ON YOUR IDEA.

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">Trash - You never know what you'll find... <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">9NBL

<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">Back to the Beginning